Conspiracies R us

Princess Diana is alive and well

Princess Diana was the most famous and most beautiful member¹ of the British Royal Family...ever. She died on 31 August 1997 in a tunnel under the streets of Paris in a car accident. Or at least that is the official version.

After her “death” lots of conspiracy theories came out. Most said that prince Charles and his bodyguards arranged her death because the Prince said, “If I can't have her, no-one can have her – I love you Diannnnaaaa”. Others claim the Queen and her merry men arranged Diana's death, because she refused to return the one ring that the Queen claimed she received as a present from Mister Smeary Golam. There are lunatics who claim the CIA/MI5/Mossad/KGB arranged Diana's death, because she dated a Muslim, etc. None of these theories can be proven and are all a lot of hogwash.

I couldn't find out much about the princess' “death” myself, but I had a gut feeling that she didn't really die on that faithful evening.

But then, as faith would have it, I met professor Helpme Imstarving, one evening in a bar. He told me the whole story as he is going to put out in his soon to be published book, namely: Princess Diana: Alive and Well in Buckingham Palace. (Anybody who can help the professor publish his book can get details on the professor's website at http://noimnotdrunkorcrazy.com)

He then told me the whole story as he wrote it down on rolls of toilet paper, while being locked up in the local Sussex police cells for alleged drunkenness and peeing against the leg of a very angry Sussex bobby. “All made up to keep me from telling my story”, the professor claims.

Many people reading this will say that this is a drunk man talking, but my gut tells me this is what really happened that evening in that tunnel under the streets of Paris.

Lets start with the other conspiracy theories and show how they can't be right. Prince Charles and his mother is too busy counting their money (over and over again and again) from their investments in Nike, Adidas, etc, to be bothered by stuff like killing beautiful princesses. The CIA is too busy smuggling cocaine to be bothered by anything else. Mossad is a real intelligence agency and will only kill if you get in their way, which the Princess certainly didn't. The KGB is too drunk too mostly do anything but scratch their arses. (Even the CIA could easily outwit them) MI5 is made up of extremely intelligent conservative English gentlemen who know that the French hate the English almost as much as they hate everybody else to ever allow monkey business like that on their territory. If MI5 would have killed Diana, it definitely would not have been in France.

So what really happened?

To make a long story short; the good news is that Diana, Princess of Wales is alive and well and living happily with her children in Buckingham Palace.

Say what? You would say.

Yes, my dear gentle reader, it was Prince Charles and Queen Elizabeth II who was killed that faithful night in that tunnel under the streets of Paris according to evidence collected by professor Imstarving.

I can state here that I saw that evidence in an old shoe box the professor keeps under his bed. It is an old gray and brown sock, a antiquated gold lighter, a Polaroid photo of a luxury car driving into a pillar in a tunnel, a French motorbike license disk, pieces of a princess' pearly necklace, and a handwritten note saying: Diana, I will tell the driver I want to take a piss at the entrance to the tunnel and then we both get out of the car and run to the waiting helicopter, love Dodi.

In any case...

After their ugly divorce, where Prince Charles didn't want to give up the gold colored Bentley and when it came out that he was really two timing her with a much older, very ugly old witch, the Princess was filled with an unquenchable hate. This was not the princess' true nature, but this is what happens when one lives with the royal family for fifteen years.

She then met Dodi Fayed the son of one of the richest men in the world. They started making their plans. Remember Fayed is an Egyptian and as shown on this web site, the Egyptians are pretending to be Jews and in control of all the world's money, because they want to build another humongous pyramid.

The fact that Diana dated somebody like Dodi is prove of what is to follow. Just think, why would a beautiful woman like Diana date a boring person like Dodi while she could have exciting men like Brad Pitt, or George Cloony or even James Bond? (Who would want to date someone with a silly name like Dodi in any case?)

In any case the Queen and Prince Charles was kidnapped by four Ninja Turtles (yes, they really do exist – they are reptiles, are they not?)who came through the plumbing on 30 August 1997. As they (the Queen and the Prince) almost always had the Do not Disturb signs on their bedroom doors and only came out for official functions in any case, no one really missed them or even knew they were gone.

They were taken to a secret location in Rennes De Chateau, France where both of them where slowly tortured to death by having hundred pound notes being torn up and burned in front of them. The assassin said he never heard people scream and cry like that before in his career. After about fifty pounds was destroyed in front of them both gave up the ghost. From here onwards everything had to be done in an expeditious manner because a ritual had to take place in the tunnel, which in the Middle Ages was a temple dedicated to the goddess Diana. This was so that Diana's revenge could be exacted in the erstwhile temple of the goddess Diana. (This shows that the princess of Wales is a direct descendant of the great Faros of Egypt who from Heaven to Earth cameth)

Using plastic surgeons from the defunct Michael Jackson estate prince Charles was changed to look like Princess Diana. (this proves how good these surgeons really are) The queen was changed to look like Dodi Fayed, not difficult, because she already had many many manly features, like a beard, etc.

The next evening, 31 August 1997 at 23:00 when the real Diana and Dodi left the disco, things started happening as the well worked out plan came into action. Everything had to be timed to the last second, which is more prove that the Illuminati/Jewish bankers/Annunaki was involved, because only they can plan as exactly as this.

Just before the tunnel Dodi told the driver to stop, because he (Dodi) wanted to take a piss. (Remember the note I saw in the professor's shoe box?)With the tinted window between the driver and passengers rolled up so that the driver couldn't see them, Dodi and Diana quickly got out and escaped with a helicopter that landed nearby. The bodies of Prince Charles, who know looked like Diana, and the Queen, who now looked like Dodi was put in the back of the car and the driver sped off.

In the meantime Dodi and Diana flew straight to Buckingham palace where Diana let them in, because she still had a spare key to the palace. Make up artists came in secretly and changed Diana to look like Charles and Dodi like the Queen. This make-up was only used at the beginning, but by now they have special silicon masks made by George Lucas's Light and Magic Company that they can easily put on to fool the people. What makes it even easier is the fact that both the Queen and the Prince always looked wooden and now with the masks no one can tell the difference.

(With the gaining of further evidence and watching clips of the prince and queen I have come to the conclusion that Dodi and Diana reverse these roles at will, thus, sometimes she is the queen, while Dodi will be Prince Charles. For example when the queen berated President George Bush when he said she was there in 1795, was really Diana.)

Meanwhile back at the tunnel, the real drama started. Two of Mohamed Al Fayed's² men rode next to the limousine with their motorbike and remote control, pretending to be paparazzi.

What wasn't known is the fact that the driver, Henry Paul was one of the many sleepers put in the West by the old USSR.

With the collapse of the communist regime, the remotes to many of these sleepers went on sale all over the world.

The guys on the motorbike then activated the control chip in the driver's medulla oblangata and ordered him to make the accident.

The rest of the story is as you have read it in the media.

The incompetence of the French is internationally known and perpetrators of this conspiracy knew they would be too incompetent to find out what really happened.

When the French found out their mistakes – in any case - they were too embarrassed to admit it. Like why did the beautiful Diana now suddenly have a wrinkly old man penis? And why did Dodi have lots of reptile like scales all over the lower part of his body, with something that looked like a penis, but could also be redundant thumb?

Now people must remember that all this was arranged by Jewish bankers, who is in truth Egyptian bankers who are collecting money to build an enormous pyramid. Dody Fayed was just the right man to contact to help bring this plan to fruition and the Princess had this information, because she traveled all over the world.

Now that this matter is out and the whole world (or at least the three people who read my web site) knows Princess Diana is alive, I sincerely hope this matter can come to rest now.

This whole incident proves that the good people also sometimes come out tops.